Mokdaddy Memoirs: Playtime camping at the festival and cows

WARNING: Course language frequented in this piece. Could it be any other way for me?

Whether you like Little Britain or not, most people have heard of the phrase “only gay in the village”. Well now I know how he feels. I am the only whitey in the village, well at least where I work anyway. Apparently I am the only foreigner to be based in the government/parliament building where I work and I get stopped every five minutes by the guards to check that I am actually supposed to be there and double takes from the staff members. Its actually a great building decked out in rugs and marble, and I am pretty damn lucky to be allowed to work from there. Anyway, I am making the most of the attention because like most things, I will become “normal” and no one will care to look at me no more.

One thing that won’t change is walking down the streets of Ulaanbaatar (UB) where I get stared at all the time. How does it feel? Not sure. I just ignore the likely thoughts going through the Mongolia people’s head such as “get the fuck out of my country” or “stop stealing our jobs” (but I'm a volunteer not a miner!) or “get out we’re full” oh no hang on that last one is Perth people. Though I am certain these are the thoughts going through some people’s minds and occasionally a whitey gets spat at or harassed (usually by drunks late at night), for the most part people here are awesome. When I walk down the street and I get stared at, I simply pretend I am a celebrity. I finally know what it feels like to be Angelina Jolie! Yay. I have big lips. Except I don’t get asked for autographs but occasionally I get asked to buy something. Compared to other tourist destinations, you hardly ever really get hassled to buy useless crap. On the odd occasion that you do get asked to buy something, its mostly useful stuff like socks, fruit and reasonable artwork.

This place rocks. I am not sure why I like it here so much but its awesome. There is only one thing I really don’t like about this place – the dogs that chase you when you are trying to go for a run. One time I went for a run with the Hash club on the outskirts of UB I got chased by a barking mad dog. I ran so damn fast and completely lost my shit in the process while wailing for help to my other two friends. The lovely Annas (there are two) came to my rescue rock in hand to shoo the savage beast away. Phew!

Apart from that, its all good. The volunteer work is great and my colleagues are brilliant. Their English varies from very good to non-existent so I have plenty of incentive to learn Mongolian. Apparently my teacher says I am a good student and good at learning languages. I have discovered a new talent! She is also awesome and her business is called Friends School and they also run travel tours, one of which I will be going on soon.

The volunteers get so well looked after here by our Mongolian manager who takes care of us very well. She is an absolute legend. She helped all the volunteers find a place, showed us around, took us shopping and translates to dumb ass landlords. Yeah our landlord sucks ass big time. She hates us and I have no idea why but the feeling is mutual stupid bitch. Mind you, the only thing she has messed us around with is some shoddy workmanship in the kitchen and crap cable TV reception. Plus the TV is the size of a thimble. Ok ok I realise I am in a developing country but I am paying western prices for rent and everyone else has normal sized TVs. Yeah, I know, there are worse things. But you would go insane too if you have watched the Sex and the City 2 movie every night for the last two weeks because it’s the only thing in English! I think I know all the lines off the top of my head. As I write this, I am watching Carrie tell all her friends about how Big and her are taking two days off their marriage, bla bla bla. I actually love this movie now. I hated it before but now I appreciate it because it’s the only thing I understand.

I am living in a really nice, centrally located apartment with another volunteer. In fact my apartment block is like the dream apartments that the other volunteers envy. I got pretty lucky with the price and location thanks to my in country manager's negotiation skills. There are so many volunteers from all over the place plus expats who are working here on contracts. With so many great people around, there is a nice little social circle happening. It’s a shame I am not in it though. Just kidding. Of course I am.

Ulaanbaatar isn’t what I would call a culture shock kinda place. Its very easy to live here and while some things don’t work, who gives a shit. I am in MONGOLIA – how fucking cool is that!!!! The country side on the other hand is far more hard core. The winter will be much harder here and I think that is when I will have to harden up. No point in worrying about that now though.

Oh and just because I like showing off - I am the one out of the August volunteer intake who hasn't got sick or hurt themselves yet, even after eating all the local food. I have guts of steel (insert Arnold Schwarzenegger accent).

I now officially call this place my home and I even have a routine:

· Kick-boxing lessons two to three times a week (instead of the straight up boxing I used to do back in Australia so its even harder!)

· Yoga one to two times a week instructed by one of the volunteers here. It’s free so we just donate a small amount to charity for each lesson.

· Hash Hound Harriers – a weekly running/walking/dog walking club where they arrange a bus to take you out of the city and provide drinks and sandwiches after. Its great for under $5. Sometimes you get chased by dogs. I also go on crack of dawn running while we still can before winter hits.

· Gym – I joined for a month and hated it so I have stopped going. I may start again in winter when I can't run outside no more.

· Trivia – I am still rubbish at it in Mongolia.

· Work Monday to Friday 9:00am til 6:00pm (After this year I am never working full time again)

· Camping on weekends or horse riding. Last time I went horse riding I galloped and it was freaking cool. I was alone with a Mongolian guide who speaks very basic English and he took me to his friend's Ger and we drank fresh natural yogurt (never mind the flies that were everywhere - what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger). "Mmmm, Yogurt is tasty" we said between sips. I also learnt how to say it in Mongolian. He also did some very impressive tricks like standing up on the horse and picking wild flowers while galloping. He gave them to me! How sweet.

· Private language lessons twice a week for only $9 an hour! Bargain!

· Guitar playing when I can – I bought one here and I might get a Mongolian fiddle and learn to play that poorly as well ;)

Well that's enough of the dribble. I highly recommend you join me at some time in the next year if you can handle it.

Here are some things I have done so far... with some more dribble:

Playtime

This was a great first weekend activity. We stayed in a ger and watched many local bands cover famous artists from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs to Coldplay. I guess a small country like Mongolia isn’t going to get a lot of big bands touring so it’s the next best thing. They sounded almost identical to real thing - yeah!

James, Greg and Alicia got a spot on the line up and played some experimental stuff. They were really good. Greg, who doesn't usually play drums kept breaking his drum sticks and then throwing them into the crowd. He accidentally threw one a little too hard and hit some poor Mongolian guy in the face. Lucky it wasn't one of the bikie gang. As an aside, some guys have their own radio and TV shows here. Its such a small place, anyone can be famous here!

The stars of the festival were in the crowd. It was a massive group of scary looking guys on 20 odd motorbikes. They were even allowed into the festival with their motorbikes - strange. One guy was wearing an Arabian scarf and had a viscous looking dog with a muzzle. We all stayed well out of their way.

The bikes were allowed to join in on the fun

Cows at the festival too

Off to the side of the festival location is this lovely stream

We stayed here

Camping at Terelj

Anoher Francis arranged event. A drunk local decided to join us for a chat. He spotted the guitar and started playing. We prayed he would leave but he kept coming back with some new thing to say or do. Sam understood some of his Mongolian but we couldn't really work out what he wanted. He brought a pack of cards hoping we would play. Then he started showing us some “tricks” which were like not at all tricks but maybe in his mind they were. He eventually decided we were boring and threw his plastic lined playing cards in the camp fire and left. Fun times.

After camping, we weren’t satisfied. We went back to Ulaanbaatar for horse riding (where I soiled myself repeatedly) and watched a band at The Great Mongol pub.

Turtle Rock

Lovely decorations at the Monastery

Me and Chinggis

Bye cards

The morning after - they all look like shit

Horsies at Steppe Riders

Steppe Riders owners' son (not a girl)

Ah the good old string and the matchbox trick

Great band

Roller blading

I am also doing things I would never have bothered to do anywhere else like roller blading, which I totally suck at! It was a US Peace Corps (volunteers) function like a roller disco. It took be back to high school. Thanks to Mike who held my hand most of the time or I would have stacked it more than just the one time J Oh yeah, no pics of me looking like a massive dick on here. Maybe some prick got me on facebook but I haven't dared to check.

Camping at Bayangobi

The amazing Ju Lin (another volunteer from Australia) arranged this trip. We went to an old monastery that is pretty much a ruin now. The Soviets did their thing there and sadly many lives were lost as well as the monastery. We camped overnight near sand dunes and mountains all in the one place.